When the poop hits the chux.

“I’m gonna need some help in 202B, she pooped again.”
Your internal dialogue says “AGAIN! REALLY!?” but you smile and nod to your aid and say you’ll be right there.

It’s going as planned. Wipe. Roll. Tuck. Roll. Wipe. Wipe.

Then the unthinkable happens.

When your coming down the home stretch of your wipe, roll, tuck routine you hear the distinct sound of poop on the move.

*Pffvrumpfhh-Gurgle-Blortfptptp*

Your hand jerks back as if it’s just touched hot liquid magma. And all of the sudden time both speeds up and slows down all at once. Your movements become lightening speed fast, grabbing for a wipe or a towel or anything near by. Your eyes become dilated in your fight or flight mode and then you see it.

A brand new chux.

In an Indiana-Jones-sliding-under-the-rock-wall-at-the-last-minute style move you manage to get the chux under her butt just as the poop is coming out.

“Well, that was lucky” you deadpan. But inside your giving yourself mental high-fives and the crowd is cheering.

Now that is fucking fabulous.

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16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tiffany Dawson
    Nov 20, 2011 @ 23:22:30

    I loved this post!! We can all relate to those moments. It’s what makes us not take our jobs too serious.

    Reply

    • fabulousrn
      Nov 20, 2011 @ 18:28:04

      Thank you!! I agree, if we all took our jobs too seriously, we’d all probably be crying all day long. *sniffCanIgetacosignonaninsulindripsniffle* πŸ™‚ It’d be wearing.

      Reply

  2. Kerry Bruce
    Nov 20, 2011 @ 21:54:44

    I just cried my eyes out laughing so hard reading this, in fact I think I had a little stress incontinence and may need madonna panties with a peri pad and a chux on my chair…

    Reply

  3. peculiarpotato
    Dec 08, 2011 @ 00:08:44

    Love it!you made me laugh hard that is all that matters.Thank-you!

    Reply

  4. Nurse Lyssie
    Dec 09, 2011 @ 08:32:10

    Oh. MyEffingGod. Hahahah. First of all, thanks for subscribing to my blog! This was the first post I happened to read, and I’m so happy it was. Infact, I cracked up laughing at the bar with my friends and immediately read it aloud.
    SUCH an accurate play-by-play. I was a CNA on a geri-psych unit for 2 years, and days without poop were few and far between. Reading this was just like a written version of my own dreadful thoughts in the same situation. And I think that applies to anyone whose been in that situation. Fucking hilarious. Props.

    Reply

    • fabulousrn
      Dec 09, 2011 @ 08:52:31

      WOW, thank you so much for the kind words and sharing it with people!!!!!! That is truly fabulous! Um….CNA on geri-psych that sounds like hell but the most entertaining job ever! I’m sure you have soooo many stories, its unbelievable! Thank you so much for reading and I hope I get to hear some awesomeness from your past/present jobs!

      Reply

  5. nancyelizabethlauzon
    Dec 09, 2011 @ 15:32:02

    Omigosh, you’re bringing back a lot of memories from my pooped-on days as a nurse. I loved it, I hated it, it was a curse and a blessing all rolled into one. I miss the adrenaline rush sometimes. But not the hot, liquid poop.

    Nancy =)

    http://chickdickmysteries.com

    Reply

  6. Islander-Guy
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 05:24:21

    This has happened to all us Nurses and most days you scream… PUT A CORK IN THAT HOLE!!!

    Reply

  7. stodmor
    Dec 16, 2011 @ 08:55:33

    poop makes me cry yet i can’t get away from it. my favorite was prepping 72 hour samples to be tested when i worked in the medical lab. all you have to do is smell the shit and know they are sick. nice catch by the way.

    Reply

    • fabulousrn
      Jan 02, 2012 @ 21:24:40

      WOW!! 72 samples, after the first 20, I’d probably be sooo fucking over it and just puke and get it over with. That is sooo true, poop is bad, but SICK people puke is just absolutely, fucking, disgusting! x(

      Reply

  8. georgiemathew
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 18:11:58

    This is hilarious! Fabulous-high-five! I just came back from a night call with a pt to take a decision for neurosurgery.. I need to go back to work now but I’ll be back to check out more!!

    Cheers
    Georgie
    PS. does ‘rn’ stand for registered nurse? curious πŸ™‚

    Reply

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