12 days of Fabulous!

Q. Who doesn’t love countdowns?

A. Dumbasses.

12 days, 12 of our favorite fabulous things. Short, sweet, and oh, so yummy!

Let the 12 days of Fabulous begin!

12.  Farting in patients’ rooms.

You can’t do it at the nurse’s station. Too many witnesses.

You can’t do it in the med room at the risk of getting caught red handed in a small space.

No time for potty breaks so the bathroom is out of the question.

So you “go check” on your patient and do a little crop dusting at the same time. In. Out. Done. Fabulous.

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20 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wizardofsoz
    Dec 04, 2011 @ 17:53:00

    Mischievous… I like it.

    Reply

  2. Diana
    Dec 04, 2011 @ 19:46:45

    Hilarious! I would also advise nurses to pick already stinky rooms or those of confused patients. Otherwise, can you imagine administration’s response to those complaints?

    TMI warning – I once started eating these fiber bars for breakfast, and the “end” results were ridiculous. I had to stop because I didn’t want to be known as that nurse.

    Reply

    • The Nerdy Nurse
      Dec 04, 2011 @ 20:46:22

      hah.

      That reminds me of a nurse I used to work with.

      She was vulgar beyond compare about many things, but for some reason if you brought up the topic of flatulence, she was downright appalled. I couldn’t understand how she could discuss her sex-life so publicly, but cringe at the thought of discussing passing gas at the nurses station. A very odd double-standard.

      Reply

      • fabulousrn
        Dec 04, 2011 @ 21:00:20

        Reminds me of a book I read as a kid. Where it was acceptable to fart but not burp. It changed my life.

      • Ex Caregiver
        Dec 06, 2011 @ 10:51:42

        HAHA, that sounds like me! I can discuss the most vulgar things, and will even over share too much about my life in general. But farting around people? FORGET IT! I don’t even fart around my significant others. My husband heard me do it maybe 4 times in the 6 years we were together, and I was trying to be sneaky about it every time. That said, I could care less if people talk about it or even do it around me. I’m just uncomfortable sharing my stench with other people, they don’t need to have that reality embedded in their brains, especially not someone that I’m intimate with.

        Thankfully for me, I work outside a lot so it’s easy to pass gas then and get away with it. However, I always wonder when it’s super cold if you can see the vapor cloud like when you breathe. LOL

      • fabulousrn
        Dec 07, 2011 @ 10:31:29

        HAHA! I didn’t know you were a fart prude! That is insane. I love it and I’m glad you don’t share it with me. FYI if you ever let one slip and I hear it or smell it, I’m making the biggest fucking deal about it! Alarms and whistles will go off, guarantee it! I’m going to start carry a rape whistle with me, just for said occasion!

      • Ex Caregiver
        Dec 07, 2011 @ 12:32:56

        Kellie, who would have though, right? Of all things for me to be a prude about, it’s farts for sure! Well, any bowel movement really. I hide the fact that I poop, too. I try to do it anywhere other than around my significant others, do it at work or in a different bathroom, that’s why we ALWAYS have spray in the bathrooms! I even have a clause that if I’m sleeping and I let one rip, it doesn’t count and anyone that hears it is not allowed to tell me about it. LOL. So far, it’s been very few that fiancee has heard, or if he’s caught me pooing somewhere and he tries to tease me about it but I just ignore him. haha

        And I will say this, too…. Thank GOD I have dogs, one is a decent size, and you can hear her farts, which sound very human, and both dogs have smelly farts, too. Dogs have been blamed on more than one occasion for when I have one of those unruly farts that just REFUSE to be contained. Also, thank GOD for allergies too because when I sneeze and one slips out, that’s the best way to keep them covered up.

        Fart whistle. That’s funny! I have a friend who is also a fart prude and she swears that every time they go on vacation or a weekend trip with friends, especially if it’s people she doesn’t know very well, she’s almost always the first one to accidentally let slip. She claims it’s Kharma getting her back for being such a fart prude. LOL

      • Ex Caregiver
        Dec 07, 2011 @ 12:33:43

        Oops, I’m a dork, didn’t mean to say K instead of FabRN! Delete me if you like!!

    • fabulousrn
      Dec 04, 2011 @ 23:52:35

      Thank you Diana for the TMI! I actually love the TMI, because it always turns out awesome! This is a good point, you do it around AO patients and then you’ll become Stinky McQueffey and no one wants that title!

      Reply

  3. Brendan Kober
    Dec 04, 2011 @ 20:18:27

    I just walk by the C. difficile room 😉

    Reply

  4. The Nerdy Nurse
    Dec 04, 2011 @ 20:44:13

    BUAHAHAHA.

    That’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are.

    Although I often found it humorous how often I had patients who seemed to wait until I came to check on them to pass their gas. Then again, since I worked on a heavily GI floor, we were usually excited about bodily functions. You want those parts to work or the other parts get messed up.

    It isn’t healthy to hold that stuff in you know.

    Reply

  5. princesagr
    Dec 06, 2011 @ 06:32:34

    LOL! Just LoL!!!! 🙂 You do well. Farting is health, shouldnt hold it 😉

    Reply

  6. Jessica
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 03:32:09

    So this is why hospitals always smell funny… love it!

    Reply

  7. Bronan the Barbarian!
    Dec 20, 2011 @ 10:00:49

    You should write a children’s book entitled “Everyone Sharts”

    Reply

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