Twelve Days of Fabulous. #4: Penises

I have seen so much dick, it’s sickening. If I had a nickel for every shlong I’ve seen, I’d be shitting hundreds of nickels.

Broad. Chubby. Pastel Pink. Curved. Black. Crooked. Colossal. Gruesome. Ghost White. Bumpy. Curdled.  Ripe. Dusty. Rotten. Fuzzy. Charcoal. Petite. Hangy. Miniature. Massive. Short. Fat. Carnation Pink. Stubby. Cheesy. Skinny. Meaty. Long. Wiry. Hairy. Rubbery. Scrunchy. Tiny. Puny. Curved. Scrawny. Mammoth.

They are disgusting. Peering at you with that Cyclops eye, just watching, and waiting. It’s fucking creepy. It’s like when you get that feeling that someone is staring at you, so you look, make eye contact, then look away really quick. That’s the feeling I get when I have to look at someone’s schfance.

They come in ALL shapes and sizes. Like a snowflake, no two are alike. There are hundreds of names for Cacks.

Here are my favs!


Hose (using a Scottish accent)

Turtle Neck Sweater


Cheese Dick


Mushroom Top

Pussy Pounder

Trouser Snake


Tiny Tim

Extension Cord

Konkey Dong



Tongue Depressor


Tube Steak

Penises, Fucking Fabulous?!?


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lexiconlover
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 09:23:11

    ROFL……….ah this one was good.

    no one every said they were purty ; –)


  2. Bronan the Barbarian!
    Dec 16, 2011 @ 14:52:13

    Lately my fav has been “dangus.”


  3. bayoucreole
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 04:39:09

    OMG! You are so hilarious…I’m aDICKted…lol


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