Hangover Cure

You drank too much.

You, fucking idiot, you should’ve drank more water the night before or not drank so much.

Now we get to pump fluid through your veins.

I can't wait to do this to one of my friends.

So what did you accomplish?

1. Sweet drunken texts.

2. Awesome Facebook drunken posts

3. Even awesome-er Facebook drunken pics.

4. Cumming into a fat chick.

5. Barfing on the dog, in the kitchen sink, and all over your sheets.

So come on in and put that expensive health insurance to good use.

Fucking Fabulous.

Hangover cure: DRINK MORE!


I’m a Versatile Blogger Award Winner

A big thank you goes out to The Chick Dick Mysteries, who nominated me for the Versatile Blog Award! Nancy is a fabulous woman who is a former nurse; a rogue, indie author; has an unhealthy shoe/purse addiction; and who intimidates the fuck out of me with her amazing writing talents. Pretty fucking fabulous, if you ask me.

She's amazing!

Along with the perks of winning this award come certain responsibilities, which are, in no particular order:

1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass this award along to 15 10 blogs you enjoy reading. Sorry people, I’m just too lazy and over Twittered to attempt to write about 15 blogs! I can pull off 10 though. 😉
4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.

Kind of a glorified chain letter, but I still love it! I feel like this is a great way to learn about blogs that you might not come across on your own. It’s also a great way to shout out to the blogs that you enjoy reading every day. So pull up your dirty panties and participate! Here we go!

Here are 7 things about me:

  • I don’t like seafood. This is a disgrace to my heritage. You should see the looks I get when real Asians hear this for the first time.
  • I went to Europe when I was 16 years old. I loved Venice. The water looked like disgusting, fermented toilet water.
  • I have three dogs; Olive, BEANz!, and Duke. Also known as Crazy, Special, and Seal Blubber.
  • I’m handicapped when it comes to hair and makeup. My friends like to call me manly. I agree.
  • My first CD was Green Day’s Dookie. After hearing it 30 times in a row I promptly bought a Green Day t-shirt with a big piece of shit on the front. Well, my mom actually bought it. Gawd I miss her.
  • People I would go gay for: Sofia Vergara, Zooey Deschanel, and Karen O.
  • I once had a sex dream starring Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer for Weezer. It was amazing.

Here are my nominations for the Versatile Blogger Award:

1. http://bronanthebarbarian.com –This bro is rude, crude, and fucking hilarious. Do some pre-reading Kegel exercises because you could seriously pee your pants.

A picture from his recent post 'Why Santa Claus is an Asshole'

2. http://lexiconlover.wordpress.com –Lexi, is an insightful addict on many different levels. She takes you through her addictions of drugs, love, and body image. She makes you laugh, cry, and appreciate her everyday battles.

3. http://chasingafterdreams.com — Rachel, a 20-something Canadian, public-health nurse is cute, sweet, and funny. She has a big heart and bigger dreams. She’s inspiring.

Super cute!

4. http://nurselyssie.wordpress.com –Alyssa , a new-grad nurse who is fun and quirky. I love reading about her experiences in nursing school and now a new chapter of her life has begun. Reminds me of my not-too-long-ago new nurse days.

5. http://kimxrn.wordpress.com — Kim is a beautiful nurse, inside and out. Her blog is cute, inspiring, and thoughtful. She’s a fellow new blogger, like myself.


6. http://thenerdynurse.com –Brittney, is a patient, nurse, and technology advocate. Her blog is so amazing and informative, I love it. She is what I want to be when I grow up.

7. http://dianamican.wordpress.com –Diana is funny, sarcastic, and secretly sweet. Her blog is one of the first blogs I read and it blew my mind. The overwhelming number of our common tastes and distastes still freaks me out a little.

Love this!

8. http://my2ndheartbeat.wordpress.com — A blog written by a heart transplant recipient whose story is truly amazing and fabulous. He gave me my first shout out and I am forever thankful! He’s seen death (shocked over 100 times!) and now knows the gift of life. Please, please read his story. It’s really inspiring to see the patient’s perspective.

9. http://sickerthings.wordpress.com –Hussy is an ICU nurse that is even sicker than me! Possible?! Yes! She still blogs but her tweets are soo ridiculously funny! I’m truly addicted to the Pussy Hussy!

You have to check out her Twitter! Just click on the TITTIES to connect!

10. http://motherhoodandotheradventures.wordpress.com — The only person I know in real life. She inspired me to start my blog after reading hers. She’s a hard-working stay-at-home mother to the cutest little guy. He has Sensory Processing Disorder. Her blog has amazing projects and crafts for children. She makes me want to be a better mother.

Her little guy making one her fabulous projects!

Twelve Days of Fabulous. #7: Crazy Bitches

The six steps to having a crazy patient.

Step 1: Realization Shit, this bitch is crazy!

Step 2: Endurance I can handle this crazy wench!

Step 3: Surrender I’ve had enough of this crazy psycho hose beast!

Step 4: Guilt Well, we’re all crazy whores sometimes.

Step 5: Confirmation Co-worker, “You’re patient in 502B is a crazy cunt face.”

Step 6: Delight “Yes, I know, huh??!!!!!?”

When your co-worked confirms that your crazy patient really is crazy its just so fucking fabulous.

Twelve Days of Fabulous. #8: Your patient can’t remember your name.

Shelley, Kacey, Kim, Nellie, Kristal, Kerry, Khloe, Mary, Salley, Kristen, Smelly, Nelly, Katie, Kallie, Kelsey, Kaitlyn, Karen…this goes on all shift.

After the hundredth time of repeating your name you finally settle for “Nurse” or “Hey, You”.

Then you hear it.

Your name being shouted from your patient’s room. The feeling of dread washes over you just like when your mom shouted your full name when you were little.

 You walk into your patient’s room only to discover that your patient is covered in shit from head to toe.

With an exasperated sigh you grumble, “Now you remember my name, fucking fabulous!”

Twelve days of Fabulous: #9: Nicknames we give to patients

Jabba the hut.

Crazy Bitch.

Crypt Keeper

That guy with the really big shlong.

Edward Poopyhands.

Skeletor. She looks like that fat blueberry chick from Willy Wonka. Another Bill. Biggie Smalls. Bed wetter. She smells sorta c-diffy. Bowling ball. He looks like Dustin Hoffman! Asshole. He’s the Kool-Aid Man! Biggin. Fuckhead. Dragon Breath. Crotch Rot.


Fucking Fabulous!

%d bloggers like this: